The basis of my approach is simple: I listen to your questions and circumstances, and meet you where you are, at your pace. This way, each session becomes a moment for yourself - much needed time in which you, by listening to yourself, strengthen your relationship with yourself, others, and the world around you. Together, we tune in to your goals and work with what arises in our interaction. I won't put you in diagnostic boxes, but see you as a whole person with a unique set of talents and a unique context. I propose creative methods and offer perspectives that I feel are a good fit (while of course always getting your consent as to which adventures you want to embark on: it's your journey!)
The relationship path methaphor
I apply the metaphor of a relationship path: everyone has a personal relationship path in life, on which they may encounter love, but also can get lost, endlessly repeat the same 'loop', or run into obstacles.
However, this also means that you can gain perspective over it! You can explore the journey you've already undertaken, and the ideas about relationships you've developed so far. And when you know where you actually are, you can formulate a vision of where you want to go and navigate there in a much more conscious manner.
What I refer to as a relationship path, thus entails far more than the path you traverse within a single relationship – although that can provide valuable insights, too. In my definition, your relationship path encompasses all relationship choices, relationship-relevant events and cultural influences that you’ve experienced during your life, that brought you to where you are now, and influence where you will likely go. It can thus be likened to the 'career path' of your relationships.
Two main routes
Within my approach to relationship work, which I call 'personal connection and untanglement counseling', there are three main routes, that . I often combine them, as they complement one another beautifully:
- The first is an intuitive and more therapeutic counseling route, where we delve deeply into specific situations or experiences you bring up in our sessions. On this path, you will meet me, and I will walk with you for a while. The unique combination of you as the client with your personal experience/struggles and me as a relationship path counselor with my unique toolkit of methods to bring out your inner wisdom, provides the insights and changes needed for you to move forward on your relationship path.
- The second route runs parallel to the counseling route, and is a more meta-analytical path of personalised (self)exploration, where you systematically map out your relationship landscape under my guidance. This 'Relationship Path Mapping' journey is a diagnostic and transformational tool aimed at motivated individuals who need to formulate a clear direction, think they see a pattern but don't quite know what's wrong, and/or simply love structured self-reflection. Over 3-6 months, you will map out the basics in five steps within a secure interactive online environment, possibly supplemented with custom-made extra modules for your specific situation.
This route is an ideal way to get an overview of the bigger picture and to bring to light the details that need further attention in the counseling sessions, which are also part of this route.
- And while the first two routes can be followed whether you have a partner or not, the third route focuses on listening to and transforming the themes that play out in the shared relationship space with your partner(s). Shared Center Work includes Theme Sessions (see offerings) that can be taken 'standalone,' but also in combination with a journey of mapping out both of your relationship paths – which provides many more tools for communication and connection than ordinary conversations.
In all three cases, I offer customized methods, perspectives, and exercises tailored to you as an individual and your specific circumstances and goals. The ultimate goal of our collaboration is always to empower you to confidently navigate your own relationship path, towards a sense of belonging.
Want to know which route is right for you?
Contact me and we'll explore.
Patterns and my role in your process
In examining where you have come from, what you have experienced, and where (you believe) you want to go, we uncover patterns. This is almost second nature to me because of my background.
Many of these patterns are well-documented in relationship science (think of our need for a certain degree of security, connection, and adventure, of attachment styles or trauma responses).
However, your specific experiences, choices, and needs simultaneously make your patterns as unique as a fingerprint.
Each trajectory thus is distinct - as is my role in it:
- Sometimes I'm a 'pit-stop,' where you can catch your breath and receive quick input.
- Sometimes a 'tree,' under which you can rest and deeply listen to what you truly desire and require.
- Often, I become an 'watch tower,' from which you can view the experiences you had on your path so far through a meta-lens, you can see your current position, and of course, chart a course out of a maze you are in.
- Not seldomly, I am the 'woman with the lantern,' helping you to safely illuminate what is hidden in the shadows of a dark forest or underground passage (which is often more enriching and less scary than you might think!).
- In any case, I am a 'travel guide,' pointing out kinder and more fulfilling parts of the relationship landscape, and presenting you with perspectives and possibilities you were not yet aware of.
Throughout this, I fully trust in the wisdom of your system (likely more so than you do yourself!). You are, after all, the 'compass': the tool with which you can orient yourself. And you'll know how to use it better once we unraveled your current position and gained insight into the connections that you encountered on your path.
Goal
At the end of our collaboration, you will possess an understanding of your current position, where you come from, where you want to go, and where pitfalls and barriers lie. You will have learned, internalized, and practiced new, often transformative, approaches to confidently move towards the future. Moreover, you will feel a larger sense of belonging on your relationship path, and be able to make clearer and more meaningful choices in connection with both yourself, others and life in general.
