The basis of my approach is simple: I listen to your questions and circumstances, and meet you where you are, at your pace. This way, each session becomes a moment for yourself - much needed time in which you, by listening to yourself, strengthen your relationship with yourself, others, and the world around you. Together, we tune in to your goals and work with what arises in our interaction. I won't put you in diagnostic boxes, but see you as a whole person with a unique set of talents and a unique context. I propose creative methods and offer perspectives that I feel are a good fit (while of course always getting your consent as to which adventures you want to embark on: it's your journey!)
The relationship path methaphor
I apply the metaphor of a relationship path: everyone has a personal relationship path in life, on which they may encounter love, but also can get lost, endlessly repeat the same 'loop', or run into obstacles.
However, this also means that you can gain perspective over it! You can explore the journey you've already undertaken, and the ideas about relationships you've developed so far. And when you know where you actually are, you can formulate a vision of where you want to go and navigate there in a much more conscious manner.
What I refer to as a relationship path, thus entails far more than the path you traverse within a single relationship – although that can provide valuable insights, too. In my definition, your relationship path encompasses all relationship choices, relationship-relevant events and cultural influences that you’ve experienced during your life, that brought you to where you are now, and influence where you will likely go. It can thus be likened to the 'career path' of your relationships.
Two main routes
Within my approach to relationship work, which I call 'personal connection and untanglement counseling', there are two main routes. I often combine them, as they complement one another beautifully:
- The first is an intuitive and more therapeutic counseling route, where we delve deeply into specific situations or experiences you bring up in our sessions.
- The other is a more meta-analytical path of (self)exploration, where you systematically map out your relationship landscape under my guidance.
The ultimate goal of our collaboration is always to empower you to confidently navigate your own relationship path. So in both cases, I offer customised methods, perspectives, and exercises tailored to you as an individual and your specific circumstances and objectives.
Want to know which route is right for you?
Contact me and we'll hop on a short call.
Patterns and my role in your process
In examining where you have come from, what you have experienced, and where (you believe) you want to go, we uncover patterns. This is almost second nature to me because of my background.
Many of these patterns are well-documented in relationship science (think of our need for a certain degree of security, connection, and adventure, of attachment styles or trauma responses).
However, your specific experiences, choices, and needs simultaneously make your patterns as unique as a fingerprint.
Each trajectory thus is distinct - as is my role in it:
- Sometimes I'm a 'pit-stop,' where you can catch your breath and receive quick input.
- Sometimes a 'tree,' under which you can rest and deeply listen to what you truly desire and require.
- Often, I become an 'watch tower,' from which you can view the experiences you had on your path so far through a meta-lens, you can see your current position, and of course, chart a course out of a maze you are in.
- Not seldomly, I am the 'woman with the lantern,' helping you to safely illuminate what is hidden in the shadows of a dark forest or underground passage (which is often more enriching and less scary than you might think!).
- In any case, I am a 'travel guide,' pointing out kinder and more fulfilling parts of the relationship landscape, and presenting you with perspectives and possibilities you were not yet aware of.
Throughout this, I fully trust in the wisdom of your system (likely more so than you do yourself!). You are, after all, the 'compass': the tool with which you can orient yourself. And you'll know how to use it better once we unraveled your current position and gained insight into the connections that you encountered on your path.
Goal
At the end of our collaboration, you will possess an understanding of your current position, where you come from, where you want to go, and where pitfalls and barriers lie. You will have learned, internalized, and practiced new, often transformative, approaches to confidently move towards the future. Moreover, you will be able to, in a more meaningful manner, make choices in connection with both yourself and others.
