How I work
My approach is simple: I listen to your questions and circumstances, and meet you where you are, at your pace. Together, we tune in to your goals and work with what arises in our interaction. I propose creative methods and offer perspectives that I feel are a good fit – letting you decide which adventures you choose to embark on: it's your journey.
The relationship path methaphor
I apply the metaphor of a relationship path: everyone has a personal relationship path in life, on which they may encounter love, but also can get lost, endlessly repeat the same 'loop', or run into obstacles.
However, this also means that you can gain perspective over it! You can explore the journey you've already undertaken, and the ideas about relationships you've developed so far. And when you know where you actually are, you can formulate a vision of where you want to go and navigate there in a much more conscious manner.
What I refer to as a relationship path, thus entails far more than the path you traverse within a single relationship – although that can provide valuable insights, too. In my definition, your relationship path encompasses all relationship choices, relationship-relevant events and cultural influences that you’ve experienced during your life, that brought you to where you are now, and influence where you will likely go. It can thus be likened to the 'career path' of your relationships.
Two main routes
Within my approach to relationship work, which I call 'personal connection and untanglement counseling', there are two main routes. I often combine them, as they complement one another beautifully:
- The first is an intuitive and more therapeutic counseling route, where we delve deeply into specific situations or experiences you bring up in our sessions.
- The other is a more meta-analytical path of (self)exploration, where you systematically map out your relationship landscape under my guidance.
The ultimate goal of our collaboration is always to empower you to confidently navigate your own relationship path. So in both cases, I offer customised methods, perspectives, and exercises tailored to you as an individual and your specific circumstances and objectives.
Want to know which route is right for you? Contact me and we'll hop on a short call.
Patterns and my role in your process
In examining where you have come from, what you have experienced, and where (you believe) you want to go, we uncover patterns. This is almost second nature to me because of my background.
Many of these patterns are well-documented in relationship science (think of our need for a certain degree of security, connection, and adventure, of attachment styles or trauma responses).
However, your specific experiences, choices, and needs simultaneously make your patterns as unique as a fingerprint.
Each trajectory thus is distinct - as is my role in it:
- Sometimes I'm a 'pit-stop,' where you can catch your breath and receive quick input.
- Sometimes a 'tree,' under which you can rest and deeply listen to what you truly desire and require.
- Often, I become an 'watch tower,' from which you can view the experiences you had on your path so far through a meta-lens, you can see your current position, and of course, chart a course out of a maze you are in.
- Not seldomly, I am the 'woman with the lantern,' helping you to safely illuminate what is hidden in the shadows of a dark forest or underground passage (which is often more enriching and less scary than you might think!).
- In any case, I am a 'travel guide,' pointing out kinder and more fulfilling parts of the relationship landscape, and presenting you with perspectives and possibilities you were not yet aware of.
Throughout this, I fully trust in the wisdom of your system (likely more so than you do yourself!). You are, after all, the 'compass': the tool with which you can orient yourself. And you'll know how to use it better once we unraveled your current position and gained insight into the connections that you encountered on your path.
At the end of our collaboration, you will possess an understanding of your current position, where you come from, where you want to go, and where pitfalls and barriers lie. You will have learned, internalized, and practiced new, often transformative, approaches to confidently move towards the future. Moreover, you will be able to, in a more meaningful manner, make choices in connection with both yourself and others.
Conditions for Collaboration
My starting point is that all of use are different, all of use are important, and all of use are worthy of connection.
However, I don't embark on a counseling journey with everyone. And neither should you!
First and foremost, it is crucial that we feel a sufficient connection, that we 'click'. That you feel that you can trust me and that this is the right step for you.
A condition from my end is that you are intrinsically motivated to honestly reflect on yourself and to learn to navigate differently.
That you're open to adopting a broader (sometimes even non-personal) perspective.
And that you are, in principle, capable of finding your own path.
Ultimately, what matters most is that our interaction doesn't feel forced, that there's a 'flow' that enables me to be a catalyst to your connection with yourself, the other, and your close environment.
Does this resonate with you? Then book a Relationship path Exploration Session (tip: let me know a few preferred dates when making the request!).
To save valuable session time, I'll usually ask you to fill in a brief intake form. I will then listen to you, our interaction, and my intuition very carefully to assess if we're a good match, and encourage you to do the same.
If you have more questions, or would like to hop on a brief phone call first, feel free to get in touch.
For answers to practical questions, please also check out the frequently asked questions on my services page.