English
Who is relationship path work for?
When reading the word 'relationship' in 'relationship path', some people simply conclude that I work with couples. However, that's not what relationship path work is about: relationship path work is about learning to view the unique connection you have with yourself, others, and the world differently. Whether you are in a relationship or not (and even: whether you want a relationship or not)!
If we decide to work together, I will help you clarify your personal path of relationship choices. And you sometimes walk that path with a partner, and sometimes - wanted or unwanted - you walk it without. Nevertheless: you always walk your relationship path with yourself... and you can get quite lost on it.
I will help you see patterns, and show you how to (re)determine your direction - no longer from limiting thoughts, family dramas you might be entangled in, or ideal images imposed on us by mainstream romantic movies, but from yourself, from your own values and feelings.
And in my experience the combination of these is different for everyone.
Target groups
People I enjoy working with include:
- Young people/teenagers: It makes me incredibly happy to assist young people, e.g. to process the often excruciating sadness over their first breakup, or to help them feel and better assert boundaries. My experience is that young people find their path much faster when they are actually listened to seriously, and that insight into themselves allows them to adapt certain patterns. Because they are open to different perspectives and quickly pick up skills, they learn very fast and can break through blockages (before these become engrained habits!). This saves a lot of suffering and allows them to make much healthier choices.
- People in a later stage of life: However, I must nuance the abovewritten, as I also love working with mature persons, who, for example, want to start 'doing things differently' in a new phase of their life (e.g. after children left home or a parent passed away), or want to explore how to continue on their relationship path in an empowered manner after a divorce or the death of a partner (I often hear the word 'must' instead of 'want' here, because it was not their choice). Even though this group deals with more ingrained habits than teenagers, they are often extremely open to self-examination. Sometimes so open, that they grasp what's going on at the very first glance: I regularly see people in this group confidently continue their path after just a single Exploration Session :)
- Women in their thirties who (might) want to have children: By far the largest group the approaches me for counseling and especially the Relationship Path Mapping trajectory are women who, after more than 10-15 years of trying, notice that they keep ending up in the same type of relationships (or, for example, oscillate between partners who are 'not ready for commitment' and 'nice but not attractive'). Women that often have difficulty recognizing what they really want - and who experience panic because they don't want to 'settle' and at the same time feel increasing urgency because they want to start a family. The keyword here is hope - stemming from self-knowledge, seeing things for what they are, and finally having a clear plan.
- Neurodiverse, gifted, and highly sensitive persons: I have a lot of affinity and experience with people who (suspect they) are on the spectrum, and notice that they quickly become overwhelmed and find certain aspects of relationship situations difficult or simply difficult to understand; with giftedness and the tendency to want to analyze everything; and with high sensitivity and the specific challenges around overstimulation and emotion regulation that come with being an HSP. A special category I have experience with is people who call themselves 'twinless twins' (which often influences feelings of loneliness and the need for connection in a very specific way).
- People at a crossroads in their relationship: Of course, I also work with people who have a partner. They can come to me both together as well as individually. For example, if they are considering separating, if they encounter something that scares them (help, my partner has a kink!), or if they have grown annoyed/bored and want to explore whether the pattern lies within themselves or in the relationship. When partners come to work with me, they don't come for traditional relationship therapy, but to engage in Shared Center Work sessions: transformative listening methods around a theme that reaches not just the stories, but the undercurrent of your relationship dynamic. And of course, what also leads to particularly beautiful insights (and instructions!) for both partners, is Dual Relationship path Mapping - so of each of the partners - and subsequently sharing the findings with each other. As Jillian Turecki says: "You need to know how the joy and pain of childhood is affecting you and your partner. You need to know what their deepest dreams and goals and longings are, and if they align with yours. And you need to know that marriage amplifies your problems because the stakes are higher."
Is relationship path work relevant for me?
Only you can answer whether working with me seems useful to you :) The people I often work with indicate that my work is intended and particularly suitable for people who are in a significant period in their lives in terms of relationships.
Relationship path work is for you if...
- You keep choosing the same sort of 'wrong' partners, or sense there is a different pattern that troubles you in your love life and think: "hmm, maybe the root of the problem has to do with me..."
- You feel nervous or insecure when you are in a (beginning) relationship, but feel pretty much worse when you are alone.
- You seem unable to stop obsessing about that one ex-partner (extremely frustrating...) and don't know what you want - well: except for that person
- You encounter something in a partner (or in yourself!) that makes you think 'eeer, what am I supposed to do with this?' and you want to investigate that with integrity
- You find yourself at a crossroads in your relationship and want to look at that from a higher vantage point, either on your own or with your partner
I personally prefer to work with people who kind of realise that something is off but don't know how to move forward and address it. Because they are motivated and open to self-inquiry and change.
Do you recognize yourself in that? Then I would love to help you.
Conditions for Collaboration
My starting point is that all of use are different, all of use are important, and all of use are worthy of connection.
However, I don't embark on a counseling journey with everyone. And neither should you!
First and foremost, it is crucial that we feel a sufficient connection, that we 'click'. That you feel that you can trust me and that this is the right step for you.
A condition from my end is that you are intrinsically motivated to honestly reflect on yourself and to learn to navigate differently.
That you're open to adopting a broader (sometimes even non-personal) perspective.
And that you are, in principle, capable of finding your own path.
Ultimately, what matters most is that our interaction doesn't feel forced, that there's a 'flow' that enables me to be a catalyst to your connection with yourself, the other, and your close environment.
Does this resonate with you? Then book a Relationship path Exploration Session to explore & transform your path individually, and a Shared Center Work intake conversation to work with a partner.
To save valuable session time, I'll usually ask you to fill in a brief intake form. I will then listen to you, our interaction, and my intuition very carefully to assess if we're a good match, and encourage you to do the same.
If you have more questions, or would like to hop on a brief phone or Zoom call first, feel free to get in touch. Or use my calendar tool to book your preferred way to start working with me straight away:
